Addictive vs. Authentic

I found a comparison of addictive love and authentic love in a book I was reading "Learning to Trust Again".  

Addictive love says...
1. I can't live without you.  You give my life meaning.
2. You make me feel valuable.  When I'm with you, I am somebody.
3. I can't make it on my own.
4. I want you to be a total part of my life, and I want to be a total part of yours.
5. All of the hard times are worth the good times.  I will be here forever, no matter what happens.
6. I can't bear to think of you sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone else.  You are the the only one who has ever understood me.
7. You should be sensitive to my needs.  I have feelings, you know, and I need you to take that into consideration.
8. If you really care, you will treat me the way I need to be treated to feel good.

Authentic love says...
1. I can live without you, but I choose not to.
2. I am a valuable person, and you affirm that value to me.
3. I can make it on my own.  Having you as part of my life makes it easier.
4. We are two separate people with individual lives to lead.  I encourage you to puruse your interests, and I will pursue mine.  This kind of space and diversity is good for us.
5. Love should seek another's highest good.  To the best of my ability, I will do that for you.
6. We are richer for sharing our lives with other people.  I encourage you to have other close relationships.
7. Mutuality is the glue that holds us together.  I enjoy you, an din that enjoyment many of my needs for importance, belonging and intimacy are met.
8. I will accept the way you show me you care about me.  Sometimes I may have to ask you about your actions, but generally, I will take at face value what you say and do. 

I would have liked to see this written out prior to now, but I am thankful for seeing this at some point in my life.  I think of addictive love as loving another person before God and authentic love as loving God first, but then loving someone else too.  I think it is too easy, at least for me, to rely on other people rather than always relying on God first and foremost.  Maybe relying on and loving are two different things, but they seem like they kind of go hand-in-hand to me.  It is something that I have been working on but also something that I know I will continually need to work on. 

Blessings in Christ,