Hands off courtship??

Re-reading my last post about how my boyfriend and I conduct our relationship, it gave me the impression that I might have been leading people on that it's perfect. We are far from that! But, we both do have the Lord Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior and rely on him to save us from temptation and sin. We do our best not to even put ourselves in those kinds of situations, but we're human and cannot keep away from it 100%, so for the times we falter, we pray that the Lord might keep us close and away from temptation and sin.

A few more thoughts. I have recently been introduced to Still Waters Ministries out of Kentucky by a friend and so I ordered a few sermon tracts from them (okay maybe more than a few...15!!). Two were on Christian Courship both preached by Andy Coblentz. I listened to both yesterday and wow, that man is opinionated!! A hands-off courtship? Hmm...maybe if people were in a much shorter relationship than 5 years that would work. But seriously, I have to wonder if promoting a hands-off relationship will lead to couples getting married too fast? Just my curiosity. I also wonder how anyone can not even think about physical contact with a person of the opposite sex? He says that we are in sin for even thinking about physical contact (he said it fell under the fornification category)...not just the big s**, but thinking about kissing, cuddling, hugging, or even holding hands also are sin. Hmm...I know with God's help that the want and longing for sensation might be reduced, but so that we don't feel it at all until we are married? I'm not sure that is possible! Any thoughts??

Blessings in Christ,

Courting or dating??

So, as I said before, I do have a boyfriend. We are dating and have been together for 5 years now! Our relationship started out as friends, we met back in 7th grade because we were in a group project together. Does he remember me? Nope :) It's okay, the only reason I remember him is because I didn't want to spell his name the right way and told my mom people need to spell their names the way they sound, lol!! But it wasn't until the beginning of senior year in high school that we started talking more. Then that winter, we went on our first date to a movie - I believe it was "Hitch" (he had to meet my parents before we could go out though).

Most of our beginning relationship, we went to movies and other places by ourselves because none of our other friends had a "special someone" and we didn't want anyone to feel awkward being a third-wheel. Then our first year of college came and we were at different schools so we saw each other on the weekends when he came home. The second year I ended up transferring out to his school because they were a better school for my degree than the one I started at (which was decided by my parents, the school, not my major).

We spent the next three years of our relationship living down the hall from each other because our school had co-ed floors (there was not enough of a female population to have segregated floors). However, nothing changed...our relationship was still mostly talking and working on schoolwork together. Junior year started and we finally had some other couples that we really enjoyed going out with so we slowed down on our own dates and went on group dates...usually out to dinner or to a local boat or car race.

The last two years, we have definitely become more serious about our future...but, it has not come at a price of our spiritual relationship with the Lord. We have both been raised in church-going homes and this last year have gone to church together every Sunday. Before that, we would go to our respective churches with our family and not go together. I do believe that us going to church together has allowed us to both become stronger in our personal convictions while also allowing the Lord to fully control our relationship together. Oh how much one can learn!!

That all being said, people look at us where we live and think we're married or best friends because we respect each other so much, both in public and not in public. To those who do the common dating thing up here, it almost seems as if we're courting because we do not show affection in public and we are very conservative with where we will go for a date.

My definition of dating is a relationship where the young couple does not ask their parents for permission to start getting to know each other as a potential spouse. Also, I consider it to be dating when a couple does go out by themselves, without a "chaperone" or something like that. Now, how far a couple takes their relationship, I do not think that has anything to do with "dating" per-say, that is a decision that they make and must agree on. I do not know that I consider the high school "dating" of going from one person to another and it being a physical relationship only dating. I would call those "flings", but that is me.

My definition of courtship is a relationship where the couple does not go out by themselves and the young man had asked the young lady's parents (father especially) for prior approval of getting to know his daughter as a potential spouse.

Do I think one is more correct than the other? I'm not sure. More Biblically correct? Courtship is probably more correct because the young man asks the young lady's head (her father) for permission to get to know her, with the sole intention of getting to know her as a spouse. But, can dating be okay also? Yes, but, it all depends on where the young couple puts a stop to their relationship. One that goes against the Bible with pre-marital relations, is definitely not okay, but those that report to the Bible for the final word and the Lord for guidance can end up just as well as those who take a courtship approach. Again...my opinion.

Blessings in Christ,