Addictive vs. Authentic

I found a comparison of addictive love and authentic love in a book I was reading "Learning to Trust Again".  

Addictive love says...
1. I can't live without you.  You give my life meaning.
2. You make me feel valuable.  When I'm with you, I am somebody.
3. I can't make it on my own.
4. I want you to be a total part of my life, and I want to be a total part of yours.
5. All of the hard times are worth the good times.  I will be here forever, no matter what happens.
6. I can't bear to think of you sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone else.  You are the the only one who has ever understood me.
7. You should be sensitive to my needs.  I have feelings, you know, and I need you to take that into consideration.
8. If you really care, you will treat me the way I need to be treated to feel good.

Authentic love says...
1. I can live without you, but I choose not to.
2. I am a valuable person, and you affirm that value to me.
3. I can make it on my own.  Having you as part of my life makes it easier.
4. We are two separate people with individual lives to lead.  I encourage you to puruse your interests, and I will pursue mine.  This kind of space and diversity is good for us.
5. Love should seek another's highest good.  To the best of my ability, I will do that for you.
6. We are richer for sharing our lives with other people.  I encourage you to have other close relationships.
7. Mutuality is the glue that holds us together.  I enjoy you, an din that enjoyment many of my needs for importance, belonging and intimacy are met.
8. I will accept the way you show me you care about me.  Sometimes I may have to ask you about your actions, but generally, I will take at face value what you say and do. 

I would have liked to see this written out prior to now, but I am thankful for seeing this at some point in my life.  I think of addictive love as loving another person before God and authentic love as loving God first, but then loving someone else too.  I think it is too easy, at least for me, to rely on other people rather than always relying on God first and foremost.  Maybe relying on and loving are two different things, but they seem like they kind of go hand-in-hand to me.  It is something that I have been working on but also something that I know I will continually need to work on. 

Blessings in Christ,

 

Love is...

I am sure we have all heard the popular "wedding" verses from 1 Corinthians 13. When I was in confirmation we all had to pick a scripture verse or two that we really enjoyed. I picked 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, much to my mother's disapproval. To her, that was only for a wedding, not something which was to be read on our confirmation day, and being that she was my teacher, I had to convice her that it could be used otherwise. I told her my second choice (which I do not remember) and she responded saying it was a verse for funerals and she would rather I use the first selection.

Is 1 Cornithians 13 only for weddings? No. We are instructed to love each other as our brother or sister and so the love verses very much apply to our everyday life as a Christian.

The KJV uses charity instead of love. Although the greek definition of the word agapē translated to mean charity is love, when we think of charity, what often comes to mind? I think of a place or person whom needs my help or giving something to charity is giving something to the needy. I do not think of charity as being love, although I suppose it could be.

For devotions one Sunday, the brother went through the four verses explaining what each of the things love is. I do not remember all that he said, but I do remember one specific comment.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

In verse 5, it was mentioned that the word "easily" was added to make us feel like we can attain not being easily provoked, afterall, who will not be provoked by anything? In the NKJV and NASB, the word easily is left out. In the german Bible, a different word is used rather than easily, one that is harsher, but I do not remember what it was.

I believe these verses are all what we should strive for in our love towards others. Jesus set a wonderful example for us with His love and now it is our turn to be disciples of Christ and show our love to the world.
Blessings in Christ,

Love Like Crazy

"Just ask him how he did it; he'll say pull up a seat
It'll only take a minute, to tell you everything
Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin' knees get lazy
And love like crazy"
- Love Like Crazy, Lee Brice

So I like country music. Well some of it; this song happens to be one of them. The chorus of the song really strikes me, because not only does it apply to our relationships, but it applies to everything in life. In how we deal with other people, things, and above all, God. We cannot forget to pray. If we forget to pray, nothing will come to us. Remember, ask and ye shall receive? It's true. Although God knows what we are going to ask for before we even ask, He will not just give it to us, until we ask that is.

Matthew 7:7-8 (KJV) - Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Matthew 21:22 (KJV) - And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

Remember, if we forget to include God in our decisions, there is no way our decision will be the right one... But if we ask God to show us His path for us, we will receive His guidance and He shall grant us the peace of mind to know that we are making the right decision. Same goes for any other request we need - whether it be a job, a place to live, money to make ends meet, anything. If we ask, God shall provide.

Philippians 4:19 (KJV) - But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Blessings in Christ,